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09:18am 11/06/2004
  how are all of you doing?

go to thisvandalism if you still want to be my friend.

its aaaaaalllll gooooooood.

(1 scream | come back screaming)

poinker poinker   
12:33pm 13/07/2003
  bonk bonk

useless territory junked
scene scream

bye now

(2 screams | come back screaming)

03:45pm 28/02/2003
  leaving work soon, so just writing to say i hope everyone has a good night, good weekend, good life and all that jazz.

and i made probably 100 labels, labeled almost 80 business cards, a pile of envelopes, filed a bunch of junk, made small talk, got another two stamps on my coffee card (free coffee wednesday at lunch), emailed some people, drank five bottles of water, bored myself stupid, cleaned off my desk a bit, laughed at the joke my boss made and...didn't do much else today.

see you monday or something.

(4 screams | come back screaming)

my mind is toxic and it's about to explode in your face   
12:27pm 28/02/2003
  i'm tired. and making labels for business cards and envelopes is "whack" as the kids say (do they still say that?). listening to the dorks (dad, boss, two guys who work here) laughing down the hall. good for them.

i'm writing to keep myself company, so it doesn't matter what i say.

and edited to add, just because i can: "when the world is screaming, i miss new wave."

(6 screams | come back screaming)

note to all who type quickly...   
09:17am 26/02/2003
  ...you may want to check when you're typing out "livejournal.com", because accidentally going to "livejounal.com" (i think it was) is a mistake--if you get my drift.

will not be working today, just on for a second to check mail and make sure all is well in the world.

(2 screams | come back screaming)

i love mac's milk* and sunshine joe coffee   
02:36pm 24/02/2003
  at lunch i went and got my usual coffee and noticed they had those coffee card things, so i picked one up. with this, every time you buy any sized coffee you present them with the card and they stamp it. once you've gotten it stamped 8 times you get a free coffee, also any size (most places with coffee cards, it's only valid for a certain size, which blows).

anyway, the guy at the cash (who i see all the time) told me he was stamping my card three times, basically because i'm a good customer. how cool is that? i go in there like, six times a week, so that means on monday i should be getting a free coffee at lunch, which is excellent, because i'm pretty much broke right now and am trying to save money for the matt good concert.

i was very, very pleased on the way back to work.

how sad is that?!?

*mac's milk is a 7-11, basically.

(4 screams | come back screaming)

10:01am 24/02/2003
  i hate it when it looks sunny and warm outside, but really it's bloody freezing and if you're out for more than ten seconds it feels like you're getting frost bite. the air quality is bad this morning and it took longer than usual to walk to the bus stop because of the huge piles of snow everywhere. my boots got filled with snow at least twice, so needless to say, my feet aren't very fucking happy.

my hands are nearly purple. TURN UP THE HEAT YOU MONSTERS!!

why do i turn down the guys at work when they offer to buy me a coffee? am i stupid? i just realized this--they are offering to buy me coffee, which would probably save me some money, and i am saying "no thanks, i'm fine." am i a MORON?
yes emily, quite frankly, you are.
but this realization is worth nothing, because i still have too much pride/stupidity to say yes.

don't mind me, i'm nodding off here, i think one of the only things keeping me awake is the fact that it's so cold in the office. i wish i could curl up in a ball under my desk and sleep.

friday with T went well, by the way. i was calm and listened, offered advice, tried to joke a bit and it was good. she emailed me after thinking it hadn't gone too well, worried it hadn't, but actually, it was the first time i've seen her in ages where it went well, where i didn't end up feeling furious, dehumanized or seriously depressed afterward as a direct result of seeing her.
though, at one point she was upset, i was trying to give her some advice and my hand was on hers, when i noticed this strange guy staring at us. i pointed him out to her and kind of laughed. she got slightly worried he would ("oh-my-god") think that she was a lesbian, which i thought was funny.
you have to laugh at something.

anyway, none of this makes much sense, so i'm off now.
it's fucking cold--did i mention that?

(10 screams | come back screaming)

12:35pm 23/02/2003
  mostly it's been updated again...


(come back screaming)

work is kicking me in the ass   
11:28am 19/02/2003
  mailed a letter to claire and her parents yesterday. i could barely breathe while writing the one to her parents and after i felt like crying. i feel like an idiot for bothering them. i just have to know what's going on.

the weather is nicer than it has been in ages, but windy.

april fools day (1986 horror film) has fucked my mind. my sleep was total crap last night--and sarah seemed to think it was fun to repeatedly try and scare me last night. it's funny now, but didn't help me sleep--it's okay sarah, i still love you. :P

doctor's appointment at 4pm tomorrow. time to assert myself. good luck, emily.

i have to find important files. they are impossible to find. someone come over here and help me--leigh, i'm looking at you! just kidding.

i'm tired. i need a laugh--the boss seems to be laughing a lot lately. good for him.

as stated above: work is kicking me in the ass.

(11 screams | come back screaming)

is it monday already?   
09:11am 17/02/2003
  two phone calls yesterday, i am a popular girl all of a sudden. first was all right, second was shit--guess who called that time? ho hum.

but ljdrama is hilarious at it's best, so i felt slightly better after reading it.

the matrix is cool. i saw it for the first time last night--yes, i have been completely out of touch, shoot me.

i'm tired. the alarm always goes off just as i'm having okay dreams.

finding drawings and pages from stories written as a kid is strange but nice.

leigh is wonderful and makes me smile.

my feet are numb.

scales need to be taken out back and hammered to death.

there is no point to this message.

end transmission.

p.s. i'm bored with my user pic now. wish i had time to make a new one. would fuck with some images or something during lunch, but don't have any with me and don't have photoshop at work. crap.
but i'm really kind of bored with it.

(9 screams | come back screaming)

11:31am 16/02/2003
  this is blue.  

(3 screams | come back screaming)

be mine?   
10:44pm 13/02/2003

"Striking! Get it? Striking?
Like a match gets struck to light a cigarette?
Like the sudden stabbing pain of a heart attack?
Wow, times have changed."


and p.s. this site makes me giggle. yep yep, i'm just keepin' it real, eating a dead cow and hangin' with my real friends, just keepin' it real.
real what?
and i love how they always write the word real in quotations.

(4 screams | come back screaming)

02:38pm 12/02/2003
  "okay...apparently you were born, but now we have the paper work to prove it."-boss
"i.e. your dad says you now have your birth certificate."

alrighty then.

leaving in about 10 minutes or so, pick up chocolates for maura, go home and spend some quality time. hell yeah.

sims online can be creepy when a strange 38 year old dude who used to be night watch men/ex football player/excellent "i never lose a fight" fighter who has made blood spurt out of people's faces, starts coming onto you.
interesting. i won't be going back to that house, no no.

(2 screams | come back screaming)

push and push 'til it hurts   
09:10am 12/02/2003
  baby sister's fifteenth today. i'm at work but will be leaving early, going to try and pick her up a nice box of chocolates or something from annie and i.

i cleaned my room yesterday, and vacuumed. i didn't get anything else done, but it's all right. it was quite the disturbing experience. but on the plus side, i found money i had lost and can now buy myself the new matt good next month. that sort of makes up for the bad experience.

busy, busy, busy today.

edited to add: and why is it that email keeps piling up in the worst way? mind you, some of it i really don't mind getting, there are people i love hearing from...but jesus kick me in the head if i get one more joke email piece of scum from T or whiney email from her period, i will blow someone's brains out. preferrably her's. i tell her i don't have time for email, she says fine, then she sends an email, then she sends me junk mail. what the screaming fuck?
plus emails from dad's cousin, and a girl from the hospital, and various other people, and one of my sisters...
sometimes i get heart palpitations just from looking at my inbox--how sad is that?

i get tons of email from T, but i don't hear from claire. i would rather hear from claire than T. T makes me feel sick right now. i miss claire.

whine, whine, whine.

point being, if i am slow when it comes to getting back to emails, please don't take offence. it's nothing to do with you/x person, it's the overload. and T. especially T.

(2 screams | come back screaming)

11:54am 10/02/2003
  going to be very very busy.
gotta crack down and do some work.
i feel like i'm going to fall asleep at my desk--this ain't fun, kids.

and stupid T emailed me again. i told her i couldn't email her. god damn where is her brain? i can handle her shit much better over the phone.

such is life.

(5 screams | come back screaming)

01:48pm 07/02/2003
  did anyone watch the michael jackson program last night (or if you're in the uk--on monday)? what did you think?  

(4 screams | come back screaming)

various things   
09:17am 07/02/2003

"What's their problem?"

You're Maurice Boscorelli, cop, and you have to deal with idiots every day. That's okay. You just bash in their face and then they know who's boss, right?

Which Third Watch Character Are You?

i thought for sure i was going to get one of the total sucks like kim or someone like that.

k, enough quiz junkCollapse )

(12 screams | come back screaming)

T and apathy   
02:46pm 05/02/2003
  read the email--waited until after i had finished eating lunch, just in case her email upset me so much that i just pitched it all in the trash--and it was fine. kind of. it was a bit of a piss off, but better than i had expected, so i emailed her back, rolling my eyes. annie's coaching helped--adopting a "fuck you" attitude to the whole thing worked--so i'm fine.

at least that's out of the way.

now excuse me while i get back to work.

(1 scream | come back screaming)

01:54pm 05/02/2003
  and i swear, all emails with be responded to as soon as i have the time--amy and amy, this is especially directed at you two!  

(2 screams | come back screaming)

01:44pm 05/02/2003
  i had a nightmare last night, it wasn't pretty.

heard from the friend i mentioned before. now i'm nervous. don't know if i should read it. it doesn't look too scary, but the ramifications of reading the last one were so bad...

(6 screams | come back screaming)